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Ezreki: Find room a mess. Be NOT IMPRESSED ONE BIT.

Arethusa: Marvel

...At the game's ability to capture expressions. He totally looks real. Almost like FLARP and a viewport or grubcam instead of an Avatar. When you're done marvelling, you select the CRUXTRUDER from the PHERNALIA REGISTRY. Uh oh! It doesn't quite fit on the roof... But hey, no problem! You'll just make a precarious little platform on the tower's point -- like -- SO -- leaving the Cruxtruder in Ezreki's room while you do so. Naturally, it blocks the door.

PH: The falling a?art, tumbledown, dila?idated, dangerously ?recarious roof? Where even the wingbeasts silly enough to fla? over to YOUR hive fear to ?erch???? U? there????? Is that what your silence is suggesting???????

PH: Well, I su??ose if you want this to be ... challenging...

PH: I can do that. My ?ulse begins to race a LITTLE bit in antici?ation of the difficulties you'll have getting to it!

PH: ?resuming, of course, that's ?art of the ?oint of this game. It seems very silly!

FA: > ARETHUSA. WHAT. have you DONE. to my ROOM?! -->

FA: > WHILE I APPRECIATE the EFFORT to DEPLOY the GAME ITEMS -->

PH: I wonder what ha??ens if you break the machines?

FA: > your PLACEMENT is QUESTIONABLE, NAY, FOOLISH -->

PH: Don't worry! I'm going to still ?ut it on the roof, Ezzy!

Arethusa: Caaaaaaaaaaaaarefully Place Cruxtruder On Precarious Platform!

Yessssss! Perfect. Difficult to reach. CHALLENGING. And rather hilarious. Look at all of the horrible ways Ezreki Avatar could die trying to work it. So, so many.

Ezreki: Check Computer.

FINALLY!

PH: Theeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go! >;)

FA: > oh DEAR. -->

FA: > Arethusa -->

FA: > what is THIS about the ROOF? -->

FA: > did you PUT something up THERE?! -->

PH: Haven't you been reading my comments while you were ?laying????? Scroll u?!

FA: > I was RUNNING AROUND after your CURSOR! -->

FA: > I only JUST got BACK to my ROOM -->

FA: > which, I MIGHT ADD, you've made a MESS of. -->

PH: >:\ ...Ezreki.

FA: > what IS it, ARETHUSA? -->

PH: Are you . . .

PH: . . . im?lying . . .

PH: . . . that the game which we downloaded from some nightforsaken server . . .

PH: . . . a lonely, mysterious torent, from who knows where . . .

PH: . . . is actually magic? And your little Ezreki Avatar is really you????

FA: > I am not IMPLYING. -->

FA: > I am SAYING. -->

FA: > that it is SO. -->

FA: > more to the POINT -->

FA: > it's NOT as if a GAME could DUPLICATE -ME- -->

FA: > I am too SPECIAL. >;D -->

PH: >:O

PH: I don't know! I mean, I thought the Ezreki avatar was a ...

PH: ... liiiiittle bit? ....

PH: ... the tiniest smidge? ...

PH: ... slower than the REAL Ezreki.

PH: You know, down there when he was dodging the filth rece?tacle.

FA: > IT WAS ME -->

PH: Hmm.

FA: > STOP BEING FOOLISH -->

FA: > this APPEARS to be quite a COMPLICATED game. -->

PH: I su??ose I just imagine you faster, Ezreki. I am sorry. 

FA: > we have NO TIME for SHENANIGANS -->

FA: > I took my time because you posed LITTLE REAL THREAT. -->

FA: > my DEAREST ARETHUSA. -->

FA: > >;C -->

PH: Ah, I see! >:) I am heartened again!! I would hate to believe that the Ezreki Luceri I know is just not as good as I thought he was.

PH: ... So, naturally, I will NOT believe it. >;)

FA: > QUITE RIGHT. -->

PH: I ?ut the Totem Lathe downstairs. That's what you were not even remotely nearly squished by. The Alchemiter is hidden with foxish cunning somewhere in your room!

And the Cruxtruder is on your roof. I have no idea what they do. ?erha?s you should just start mashing buttons?

FA: > PERHAPS -->

PH: I ... imagine that you have an endearing, devil-may-care air about you...

PH: ... which would lend itself ?articularly well to being adorable ... And likeable!

PH: Not to mention ?lot-starting.

PH: ?erfect for a ?rotaganist who is not afraid of some BUTTONS! And wheels. And doohickeys.

PH: But I don't know if I trust my imagination now! >;)

Ezreki:

 [do stuff to the ones that aren't on the roof]

FA: > it APPEARS that there is nothing to be DONE with THESE, as of YET. >;/ -->

FA: > I shall HAVE to CLIMB. -->

PH: Good thing you've got all that grace, Ezreki!

FA: > INDEED. -->

Ezreki: Being BEST at climbing, and having had to follow your lusus up here before, climb the walls of your tower like a badass using your chain sickle to dig into the stonework. 

Arethusa: meanwhile,

You decide to scrounge up some GAME FAQS/WALKTHROUGHS for SGRUB. You're having fun, but it's mostly fun you've made yourself. You're still not too sure about the ultimate point of this game, and you'd like a little insight. You're no fakey fake hacker or anything, but being both LACKING IN SHYNESS and very apt to get SUCKED INTO PLOTTY SHENANIGANS has its benefits. You know places to go where gamers gather to complain or gossip. And hey, look! A few panicked messages! 

Geez. Some guys just don't know how to keep their cool...

Ezreki:

[notes features, top is stuck, climb down]

FA: > ARETHUSA -->

FA: > the MACHINE appears to have a SLIGHT ISSUE -->

PH: Hmm. Anything heavy you don't care very much about?

PH: I wonder if I could ?ick up your lusus with this cursor thing!!!!

PH: Or would you rather I didn't?

FA: > you COULD TRY. although I SUSPECT he'd RETALIATE. -->

FA: > NOT that I THINK it would HELP. -->

FA: > he is RATHER SOFT. -->

PH: Aww. I was certain you've mentioned on many occasions that his head is the hardest most intractable surface in all of Alternia. I figured you meant that literally as well as figuratively. Let's see...

FA: > you ALREADY removed my SINK -->

FA: > can you NOT just USE THAT? -->

PH: Sure, I COULD. But then I'd be a slave to re?etition! To a lack of imagination! To -- HAH! I KNOW!

Arethusa: select refrigerator and drag it up to roof.

FA: > oh DEAR. -->

PH: >:) Any final thoughts before I devastate this relcacitrant machine with the ?owerful MIGHT of a munch trunk? ?erha?s a ?ose, struck?

PH: You miiiiiight want to kee? your head inside. Hee Hee!

Arethusa: PUMMEL MACHINE with REFRIGERATOR until it is "loosened up" and BEGGING FOR YOU TO CEASE in the ONLY WAY IT KNOWS HOW

By, uh. Making a sparkly ball pop free?

FA: > oh DEAR oh DEAR. -->

PH: >:D

PH: ?erha?s I should do violence unto it further? ?erha?s more sparkly things will ?o? out?

PH: It's so lovely! Like a little ex?losion of fireflies! >:D

FA: > GOOD LORD. -->

FA: > what ARE you TALKING about? -->

PH: Look outside!

PH: And u?, at the roof and the machine. I think I - heh heh! - loosened it u? sufficiently for you. >;)

FA: > WHAT in ALTERNIA did you just DO -->

PH: I advanced the game. I u??ed the stakes! I made the thing give u? its radiant ?rize, wrenched beauty from the dumb cold pitiless heart of an inanimate object!

PH: I made it my bitch. Well, your bitch! >;) I think you should be able to use it now.

FA: > I shall INVESTIGATE in a PROTAGONISTIC MANNER. >;D -->

Ezreki: Look outside.

Ezreki: Investigate.

Ezreki: spin that wheel, obtain cruxite dowel.

Ezreki: RETURN in a PROTAGANISTIC MANNER and report.

FA: > I NOW have some WEIRD CYLINDER THINGS -->

FA: > it LOOKS as THOUGH they might FIT in the MACHINE downstairs -->

PH: Oh, hey. I just noticed. There's a countdown now.

FA: > a COUNTDOWN? to WHAT? -->

PH: Weeeeeeeeeellllllllll... ?robably to something big, Ezreki. ?erha?s the biggest thing in the game. ?erha?s once your time's u? your hive is flooded with liquid ?oison, the kind of ?oison that lifts you u? so you feel as if you are drowning, but you are not, because what it actually does is see? in through your ?ores and get into your mind and control you.

PH: ?erhaps there will be lava! Or fiery doom and destruction! ?erha?s there will be hatches, and lots of villains will FLOOD into the room, RACING toward you!

PH: Their wea?ons drawn! Their fangs a-snarl!!

PH: Ready to be the game mook that at last defeats Ezreki Luceri, rendering him a total failure at the game!

PH: Either way, you should ?robably get a move on now that we're being timed! >:)

FA: > yes INDEED! >;D -->

FA: > is there ANYTHING ELSE for you to GIVE me? -->

FA: > I PUT that 'CRUXITE DOWEL' in the machine DOWNSTAIRS -->

FA: > but it DIDN'T DO anything. >;C -->

FA: > I THINK I need some sort of CARD. -->

FA: > there's a SLOT at the SIDE. -->

PH: Ezreki! Do you realllllly think I would kee? im?ortant ?lot relevant information from you until the laaaast ?ossible second? For the sake of u??ing the ante?

FA: > YES. YES I DO. -->

Arethusa: Be offended!

Nah. He's right, after all. He knows you well. You select the PRE-PUNCHED CARD from the PHERNALIA REGISTRY and poke Ezreki with it. You don't mean to poke him quite so hard, but it's not as if there's a 'strength adjust' for the cursor. And he can take it.

PH: Hee Hee. Well, as it ha??ens...

PH: ... You wouldn't mean ...

PH: ... A card that looks ...

PH: Oh, about ...

PH: THIS size?

FA: > YES. YES THAT WOULD DO IT. -->

PH: You know, nobody seems to get beyond this ?oint.

PH: The comments I've been able to find all cut off mid-sentence...

PH: ... and it isn't that I don't LIKE dramatic cliffhangers...

PH: ...because I do >;)

FA: > YES INDEED. -->

PH: But you'd think that ?layers would realize they could just DELETE THEIR LAST SENTENCE or maybe not ?ost their unfinished babblings in the first ?lace!

PH: Kind of slo??y.

FA: > well NOW I have the CARVED dowel, I'm just going to -->

FA: > GOD DAMNIT -->

FA: > YOU STUPID -->

FA: > EXCUSE ME A MOMENT -->

PH: Hahahahahahahahahaha! Now HE is as fast as I remember. >:D

STUPID SALAMANDER LUSUS: That Dowel-thing looks so tasty...

Hell yeah it does. That's why you swiped it and are not running around. You WILL eat it! Yes you will! Besides, good training for the kid.

Ezreki: CHASE LUSUS. GET THAT DOWEL BACK.

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