Bluh Bluh Huge Bitch?

-- plotHooked
 [PH]
 began pestering apatheticAbuser
 [AA]
 at 20:29 --


PH: ?ssst.
PH: ?ssssst.
PH: ?ssssssst.
AA: What d0 y0u want
PH: I am ?olitely and sneakily ?sssting in your direction.
PH: What I ho?e is your direct - oh!
PH: HEY, CYM!
AA: Agh
AA: Is there a reas0n y0u are being s0
AA: Excitable in my general directi0n
PH: What do you mean what do I want???? What do I always want????
AA: ...
AA: Y0u always want t0 ship pe0ple
PH: Of course. There are reasons for everything. You might even say ...
PH: ... reasons ...
PH: ... are ... a foregone conclusion!
AA: ...
PH: Oh, no! I wasn't trolling you for shi??ing in?ut.
AA: Please just get 0n with it
AA: Y0u are giving me a headache
PH: ...Although if you had some new cracktheories, you'd be welcome to ex?ress them!
AA: I think I am d0ne with shipping
AA: The energy required t0 waste time 0n such friv0l0us n0nsense is entirely t00 taxing
AA: Sleep is a m0re desirable c0urse 0f acti0n
PH: You know...
PH: ...I think that statement
AA: N0 I d0n't
PH: that statement right there
PH: just cracked my heart
PH: a little.
AA: Yes
AA: It did?
PH: A s?linter.
PH: Yes, yes it did.
AA: -0-h I am s0 incredibly s0rry
AA: Let me just retract it and pull y0u int0 my warm b0s0m f0r a c0mf0rting hug
PH: I am full of woe now. My woecu? o'erbrimmeth.
AA: -0-H WAIT THAT'S STUPID
AA: Just get 0n with what y0u wanted t0 say
AA: I assume there was a reas0n f0r interrupting my meal
PH: My, my! Have you become a Carnisseur? A Foodie, Cymmy? I wouldn't want to interru?t the sacred ritual of chowing down, es?ecially not if you've shar?ened your fangs for an es?ecially delectable ?ortion!
AA: Well it's just that he's still SCREAMING 0ver there and it's c0mp0unding the headache y0u are giving me
PH: Slo??y. And a little bit classless.
AA: S0 if y0u d0n't mind? I'd rather n0t he attract any unwanted attenti0n in his dying thr0es
PH: If the screams aren't musical to your ears, you should ?robably just end them.
AA: L00k
AA: Fine
AA: I'll just stuff him in the fridge 0r s0mething and
AA: Give me a m0ment
AA: I'll be right back t0 entertain y0ur meaningless and excitable blather within a few minutes
PH: All the moments I've given you, and still, you want more! >;) Greedy.
PH: I'm all atwitter!
AA: aaaaaaaargh
AA: Just quit!
PH: You could also just tear out his vocal cords, but hey. What do I know?
AA: Quit with the wh0le excitable thing
AA: Just tell me WHAT
AA: What d0 y0u WANT
PH: What whole excitable thing?
PH: I am genuinely ?er?lexed.
AA: Ugh
AA: See, there it is again
AA: The relentless changing 0f t0pics t0wards 0nes m0re amusing t0 y0urself
AA: Quit d0dging the questi0n
AA: What was y0ur reas0n f0r calling me up at this time
PH: Cymoth Serkei. You have been mo?y, de?ressed, unstable, fli??ant, and now -- now you're trying to rock a world-weary, callous, been-there done-that attitude. I am not at ALL sure what to think, except, ?erha?s, not too shabby?
PH: I trolled you for one reason --
PH: AND ONE ALONE --
PH: at the behest
PH: the ?rodding
PH: of nostalgia.
PH: We're going to be ?laying a game together!!!
PH: For the first time, since ...
PH: ...quite a while!
PH: Aren't you excited??????
PH: Have you no thoughts?????
AA: ...
PH: Oh no. Did the DOTDOTDOTS eat your thoughts?
AA: Y0u
PH: >:O
AA: Y0u enrage me
AA: Y0u really d0
AA: Is it a c0nsci0us attempt t0 infuriate me s0?
AA: Y0ur every w0rd carefully ch0sen t0 inspire the maximum am0unt 0f anger and hatred?
AA: -0-r is it just that y0u are s0 incredibly empty-headed and bubbly that y0u are just, G0d F0rbid, NATURALLY s0 incredibly, and utterly ann0ying
AA: Because s0metimes, I REALLY d0 w0nder h0w s0me0ne like y0u c0uld exist in a sane w0rld
AA: H0w I never just, reached my hands ar0und y0ur thr0at and CRUSHED it
AA: Because I want t0 d0 that right n0w
AA: I want t0 break y0u int0 dust
AA: I w0uldn't even want t0 taint my b0dy with dev0uring y0ur c0rpse
AA: That idea disgusts me
AA: I very much s0 want t0 be rid 0f y0u
PH: It disgusts me too. We're on the same ?age there!
PH: Kee? going. This is fascinating. Like watching a baby ?urrbeast try to walk.
PH: After two of its legs have been broken!
AA: ...
AA: I hate y0u s0 very much
PH: Ahahahaha. God, you are forward.
AA: N0t like that
PH: I was being sincere. What do you feel about ?laying together again?
AA: What is this game ab0ut
PH: Does that have any relevance to your answer? >':)
AA: Yes
AA: I'm n0t risking an0ther physical enc0unter with y0u
AA: I remember what happened last time
PH: Awwwwwwwww.... well, way to finally wise u?, kiddo!
PH: I don't think there needs to be a ?hysical encounter, though.
AA: St0p talking t0 me as if I am a wriggler
AA: I'm what, twice y0ur size?
PH: I don't know much about it. ?robably a lot of violence. Seems to involve hive renovation?
PH: Ezreki always ?icks the best games, though! >:D
AA: Fine
AA: I'll play
AA: Just st0p b0thering me
PH: What's size have to do with it?
AA: I d0n't even kn0w
PH: Ahahaha I'm not asking you to ?lay! I thought you were already ?laying. If you aren't, no big deal! >:) It's not the end of the world.
AA: G0d just
AA: Just why d0 y0u d0 this
AA: Why d0 y0u find s0 much j0y in making me miserable
AA: I was happy 0nce!
PH: Oh god. When was that?
PH: I literally don't remember.
AA: Back when we were still m0irails
AA: I was...very happy then
PH: Your ha??iness always seemed fake. Fakey fake fake. I felt bad for you. I think you believed it, too.
AA: What?
AA: What d0 y0u even mean by that
PH: Why does everybody always seem to think there are double or tri?le meanings to what I say?
AA: Just
AA: I was happy
AA: Why w0uld y0u call that fake
AA: I was stupid en0ugh t0 find j0y in everything
AA: Even my shitty, l0wbl00d life
AA: And 0ur shitty, h0rrible m0irailship
AA: Why were we even m0irails!
AA: I c0uld never pacify y0u
PH: What 'everything' did you find joy in? What did you do????
AA: There was n0thing t0 pacify 0n my end
PH: Yeah. I know. >:(
PH: Although you did kee? me calm for a while!
AA: Yes
PH: You numbed the violent urges. That was nice! >:)
AA: I still d0n't understand why y0u t00k my eye
PH: Instead of just slaughtering you, you mean?
AA: That, and why y0u t00k it at all
AA: What g0t y0u in such a state
AA: That I wasn't str0ng en0ugh t0 keep y0u d0wn
AA: Y0u made me feel s0 weak
AA: Y0u still d0
PH: Eh. I don't even remember how I got that out of control. I think it started with that other troll? I do remember I was going to ?ut your eye into his eyesocket. I thought it would be fitting. Hee, hee! After some squishing, at least. ?oetic, even.
PH: I didn't kill you because we'd been morails -- or thought we were!
AA: Y0u
AA: Y0u alm0st killed me
AA: And y0u t00k my eye
AA: As a j0ke
PH: No, no, no.
PH: Argh, do you even listen? Jegus, maybe you haven't changed all that much and I should deduct ?oints.
AA: -0-ne 0f y0ur stupid
AA: I just
AA: I d0n't want t0 talk t0 y0u at the m0ment
PH: Bluh, bluh. All right. Just, look. I'd like to ?lay this game as if we were friends. ?latonic friends. And have fun!
PH: I guess we'll see!
PH: Enjoy your screamy meal!
PH: >;)