THE GAME BEGINS.

Arethusa: Answer the troll next door.

FA: > DEAREST ARETHUSA. >;D -->

PH: Ezreki!!!!!!!

FA: > did you COMPLETE the REQUIRED download? -->

FA: > are you READY to PLAY your PART in this GRAND ADVENTURE? -->

PH: Hee, Hee!!! I am alllllllllllmost certain -- nearly entirely so! -- that the waterfall just ski??ed a beat.

PH: For a moment, the thunderous din was silenced!

PH: I believe...

PH: ... well, no! I wonder!

PH: ... if this is because YOU have messaged me ...

PH: READY!

PH: for EXCITING antics and ADVENTURESOME ?lottery?

PH: That seems like the only logical conclusion. Don't you think?

PH: >;)

FA: > I would AGREE, yes. -->

FA: > >;D -->

PH: ...and yes, I've downloaded the game.

PH: But ...

PH: ... >:(

FA: > a PROBLEM? -->

==>

[PICTURE OF COMPUTER SCREEN INSERT HERE]

PH: That "Manual" you s?oke of. 

PH: Did you ?erchance ...

PH: ... mean the almost entirely blank document?

FA: > ...YES. -->

FA: > it is a VERY BAD MANUAL. -->

PH: Just so ... I'm ?erfectly clear. I would hate to disa??oint you ...

PH: ... by not knowing something that is obvious ...

PH: ... we're talking about the almost entirely blank document that says "Learn as you go. :) Lol. Suckers."

PH: Correct?

FA: > INDEED. -->

FA: > it is a VERY VERY BAD MANUAL. -->

FA: > in FACT, not really a MANUAL AT ALL. >;C -->

PH: Hee, Hee! Almost elegant in its sim?licity! 
PH: Which, I certainly hope, is ...

PH: ... DECE?TIVE!

PH: I'm ready when you are, Ezreki! >;)

FA: > I am GOING to GO AHEAD and install the CLIENT, if you will INSTALL the SERVER. -->

FA: > and then we shall PLAY. >;D -->

Arethusa: Begin installation.

You minimize your trollian windows as well as some Highly Secret Projects you are currently working on. What are they? Highly Secret, that's what. There would normally be stunningly representational art of this remarkable feat of evolution, but as it happens, mere text describing the action will need suffice for now.

You're not entirely sure about this game, but if there's one thing you ARE sure of, it's that even the most boring play can be spiced with liberal application of drama, violence, misdirection, mistakes and mystery.

So even if this game turns out to be boring, you're sure you can fix it.

You've always been really good at keeping yourself entertained.

And making things a lot more complicated than they need to be.

Arethusa: Ezreki is trolling you again. See what he wants now!

Wait. What...? Already? What an impatient guy! He always wants things to happen just so in his specific way. So fussy! So irritating! So reckless! You've always liked that. You guess you'll see what he wants.

FA: > just TELL me WHEN you're DONE, so I can CONNECT. -->

PH: You know why I like ?rotaganists?

PH: Even better than I like Antagonists?

FA: > because they are the BEST? >;D -->

PH: No.

FA: > WHAT do you MEAN? -->

FA: > that is NOT the right ANSWER. -->

FA: > PERHAPS you were SPEAKING of ANOTHER REASON -->

FA: > but THAT one should also be CORRECT. -->

FA: > >;( -->

PH: Aww. If you don't WANT to know the reason I was s?eaking of . . .

PH: . . . if you'd rather be contented, com?lacent, SAFELY in cahoots with the reason you ALREADY have at hand . . .

PH: . . . I will be forced to confess that

PH: it is true

PH: I only like the BEST of things.

PH: Either way, I am connecting to you now! >:)

FA: > well NO, I wish to HEAR the OTHER reason. -->

FA: > ah! -->

FA: > so I SEE! -->

FA: > wait -->

FA: > NOTHING is HAPPENING -->

FA: > >;C -->

But wait. Something IS happening...

[Description and/or picture of Ezreki's hive]

[if picture, picture of Ezreki's hive on Arethusa's computer w/ controls]

In the meantime, here is the description:

his room

biiiiig arched ceiling

pillars around it

great big fancy wooden doors

his floor is pretty tidy, he does have to keep up appearances!

his walls are lined with bookshelves, housing both the hundreds of novels he reads, and various gamegrub containers.

at the far end of the room is his desk, with his PC, at which he sits

recuperacoon is actually sunk into the floor in the centre

Be Tithe.

You are briefly Tithe. You say: Damn, he's got a pimp hive!

Be the Description of Ezreki's Hive Again.

looks like one of those egg chairs  

except that's just the top of the 'coon, in that you basically just drop back into it.

like going off a boat for scuba diving kinda thing I guess

Couple big arched windows

going out of his room down a flight of long spiral stairs

(lives in a tower)

into main hall, great big table, weaponry on the wall, facing the front doors

which are again, bloody massive.

same deal, huge arched ceiling, pillars

other rooms off of that

everything is biiiig

both because he's THE PROTAGONIST

and because well

GIANT LUSUS

needs lots of space!

big frikkin' castle thing, basically.

that do you?

PH: I think I'm very im?ressed.

PH: No, I AM very im?ressed!!

FA: > THAT does NOT EXPLAIN a lot, ARETHUSA. >;C -->

PH: Let's see how the design holds u? with some motion, shall we????? >:D

FA: > what are you DOING? -->

FA: > what is HAPPENING -->

FA: > are you SEEING anything? -->

FA: > OW -->

FA: > WHAT WAS THAT -->

FA: > WHY IS THERE -->

FA: > IS THAT A CURSOR? -->

FA: > what is going on? >;( -->

FA: > ARETHUSA I can't SEE anything and a GIANT CURSOR just attacked ME. -->

PH: Okay, okay! I'm definitely im?ressed!

PH: Your timing ...

PH: ... is im?eccable! S?ot on!

PH: ?rooooobably because a ?rotaganist without good timing is just a ?rotaganist who's about to be clocked in the jaw by the ?lot.

FA: > are YOU doing THIS?! -->

PH: ... This?

PH: ... You mean ...

PH: >:)

PH: ... Thiiiiiiiiis?

FA: > the CURSOR is MESSING with my COMPUTER -->

FA: > GIVE THAT BACK -->

Arethusa: Learn how to use controls.

After your cursor appears, and you've run it along the uppermost menu, you SELECT EZREKI. You're impressed with how realistic the avatar seems. This isn't FLARP, so it has yet to occur to you that the "Avatar" is Ezreki himself.  Oh, whoops!  The game doesn't actually let you select the other player's avatar. 

You can still poke him though. Heh heh. But maybe you're supposed to play with his stuff? You select the Ezreki's computer and move it to the other side of the desk.

Ezreki: Jump on cursor.

Ezreki: Summon chain sickle, show the cursor who is the PROTAGANIST around here.

PH: Haha! Yes, that's right! Brutalize the cursor! Give it mayhem! Teach it to quake at the sound of your name!

Arethusa: That wasn't supposed to happen. What do you do now?

You're still working out how to use the controls. Of course, you play a lot of games. Any game. All the games. You really like games. It doesn't take that much time to figure it out and you're kind of curious to see how the cursor interacts with the environment. Apparently, Ezreki can ride it. 

...This gives you the best idea! 

You send the cursor zooming straight for (and straight through?) one of Ezreki's windows.

Be Ezreki's Window.

You can't. You also probably don't want to. The window is dead, bro. Glass everywhere.

FA: > WHAT THE BLAZES -->

FA: > WE ARE VERY VERY VERY HIGH UP WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID CURSOR -->

Ezreki: Use chain like a grapple hook and swing inside before you plummet to your death like a worthless mook

Ezreki: wrap chain around cursor and stop it MESSING UP YOUR SHIT

Try to stop it, that is. >;D 

You fail to stop it messing up your shit.

PH: I wonder...

PH: If...

PH: ...the game has managed to ...

PH: ... manifest! create! co?y! ...

PH: ...your ENTIRE hive!

PH: Can I mess with stuff everywhere???????

FA: > WHAT -->

FA: > IT IS YOU! -->

FA: > WHAT ARE YOU DOING? -->

FA: > WHY ARE YOU DOING IT?! -->

FA: > ARETHUSA, CEASE these CURSOR BASED SHENANIGANS right NOW! -->

PH: Hee, Hee! You are com?letely blowing me away with your Keen Gras? of ...

PH: ... how to ?lay it coy.

PH: >;)

PH: I won't ?oke the adorable little Ezreki again! I think I'm going to go down to ...

Arethusa: Do what you do best.

What? But there are so many things you do best! In this context, you suppose that might mean "be mischievous." Or "totally the god of making games interesting, even boring get-used-to-the-controls levels like THIS one."

You PLUNGE THE CURSOR DOWNWARD WITH RECKLESS ABANDON.

Ezreki: Get pulled unceremoniously out of window and hang by your weapon flailing in a MANLY FASHION.

Because you're still MANLY. That's still a THING.

PH: Ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!

PH: This game is awesome!!!!

==>==>