Friday, May 13, 2011

THE ANCIENT QUESTION: Ninja v. Pirates

-- plotHooked
 [PH]
 began pestering sharpestTongues
 [ST]
 at 0:38 --


PH: ?ssssssssssssssssssssssssssst

PH: >;P Sneak u? on any little wrigglers who wound u? knowing you were there all along lately?

ST: t/hat's a/ l/ot o/f e/sses.

ST: a/nd n/ope! i/ d/on't s/neak u/p o/n w/rigglers. i/'m n/o g/rubbophile ]:O

PH: It's the exact number of esses for a ?retty im?ressive crescendo into ?estering, ?oking and otherwise ?laying around. ?ersonally, I wouldn't take a single one away! Or add even ONE more!! >:O Artistic integrity must be maintained!! Timing is everything!!!!!

PH: I could be full of shit. >:)

PH: >:o I thought that's what ninjas did!

ST: a/ny m/ore e/sses a/nd i/ t/hink y/ou'd b/e s/praying p/urpley s/pit a/ll o/ver y/our h/usktop s/creen.

ST: n/ah n/ah n/injas s/neak u/p o/n t/heir t/argets.

ST: s/o t/hey c/an t/ake t/hem o/ut, s/ilently...

ST: n/ot w/rigglers.

PH: Don't you ...

PH: ... believe ...

PH: ... DEEP DOWN ...

PH: ... That that is a totally boring way to take out a target?

PH: SILENTLY?

PH: Where is the satisfaction?????

PH: Other than being good at it, I su??ose

ST: w/ould y/ou r/ather j/ust r/un i/n a/nd g/et s/hot t/o d/eath / a/lert e/veryone a/round y/ou?

ST: y/ou s/ee, t/he s/atisfaction i/s k/nowing t/hat t/hat t/roll w/ill b/e s/o s/urprised b/y y/ou s/uddenly c/ulling h/im h/e'll p/robably p/iss h/imself o/r s/omething.

ST: h/ehehehe

PH: Hee, Hee

PH: I would rather alert everyone around me, DEFINITELY

PH: More drama!!!!?!!!!!

PH: And ... well, if you do your ninja job ?RO?ERLY ...

PH: ... does the troll you cull ...

ST: a/nd t/hen d/ie h/orribly a/s y/ou a/re o/verwhelmed ?!?!?!?!!?!?!!?

PH: ... with your slicing star-blades ...

PH: ... or whatever they're called! I can't kee? ninja wea?ons in my head! SO MANY! ...

PH: ... even notice he is culled?????

ST: i/ o/nly u/sed s/ais a/nd n/injastars.

ST: i/ m/ean u/se.

ST: h/e m/ight n/ot...y/ou n/ever k/now.

PH: If I've gotta die, I ho?e it's horribly, against unbeatable odds. That seems the only a??ro?riate way to die! Unless my kismesis gets me! That would also be okay, es?ecially if she or he has an army at his or her side. >:D

PH: But the basic idea is to be so badass the odds aren't overwhelming, even when it's Me versus A Bunch Of Meddle-y Fussyfangs

PH: ... Who can't allow a sim?le overdramatic cull to take ?lace without sticking their horns in.

PH: It's the ?irate way!

ST: l/ol, p/irates.

ST: a/ll y/ou g/uys d/o i/s g/et d/runk o/ff y/our n/ook a/nd s/ing s/tupid s/ongs.

ST: d/o y/ou g/uys a/ctually e/ven f/ight

ST: o/r d/o y/ou j/ust g/et l/ost a/t s/ea a/nd d/ie o/f s/curvy?

PH: You can't SEE me right now, lacking an e?ic s?yglass, but I?

PH: Have my elbows on my table

PH: And my face in my hands

PH: I am shaking my head

PH: very sorrowfully

PH: at your com?lete ignorance >:P

ST: i/'m s/orry, d/id i/ b/urn y/ou t/oo h/ard?

ST: i/t's o/k, n/o n/eed t/o c/ry.

ST: i/ u/nderstand.

PH: Hahahahaha! DO you?

PH: When was the last time YOU got a chance to cry?

PH: >:( You must really be overdue for a good wee?ing and wailing

ST: i/ h/aven't c/ried s/ince i/ w/as a/ g/rub, l/ol.

ST: a/nd i/ a/in't a/ g/rub, s/o n/o n/eed t/o c/ry ]:P

PH: >:P That's what you SAY, but it's not what I believe

PH: You're a "ninja," after all!

PH: You ?robably wee? in the ?rivatude of your solitary lonely shadows

PH: Where nobody can see or hear you

PH: Because nobody bothers to look

PH: >:\ It sounds ...

PH: ... unsatisfying

ST: t/hat's a/ l/augh.

PH: GAS?. Wow. I ...

PH: Wow, that retort?

PH: That burns more than anything else you've ever said.

PH: I'm assuming there's some kind of ninja qui? of cruelty hidden

PH: VERY hidden

PH: within >;P

ST: n/o, w/e're n/ot c/ruel a/t a/ll!

ST: w/e r/elease y/ou f/rom y/our p/itiful l/ife, q/uickly a/nd s/ilently. a/nd n/o p/ain a/t a/ll.

PH: If you ever want to ditch the ninja loneliness and brooding, you should seriously think about being hooked by ?iratical mayhem and glee. Best parties. BEST PARTIES.

ST: u/nless y/ou're a/ p/irate.

ST: i/ c/an i/magine a/ll t/he v/omit c/overing t/he f/loor o/f t/hese p/irate p/arties.

ST: g/ross!

ST: w/hen y/ou g/uys a/re a/t s/ea

ST: h/ow d/o y/ou c/lean y/ourselves w/ithout f/resh w/ater

ST: o/r d/o y/ou j/ust u/se s/eawater

ST: (m/ixed w/ith s/eadweller s/hit a/nd l/usus p/iss)

PH: "a/nd s/ilently. a/nd n/o p/ain a/t a/ll"? How ISN'T that cruel?

PH: That sounds ...

PH: ... absolutely ...

PH: ... HIDEOUSLY ...

PH: boring!

PH: >:(

PH: And com?letely lacking in closure

PH: For the audience's sake

PH: ... fuck, I can't believe I said that >:(

ST: a/nd y/ou p/irates p/rovide c/losure?

ST: y/ou j/ust t/hrow t/hem o/verboard t/o t/he j/awsbeasts.

PH: Oh, yes! ?irates always ?rovide closure!

PH: Sometimes we ransom them >;P

PH: Or let them fight to their death in a ...

PH: ... relatively ...

PH: ... fair fight

PH: Or, you know, JOIN THE ?IRATE ?ARTY!

PH: >:D

PH: Lots of o??ortunities

PH: I can't hel? notice YOU seem somewhat fixated on the "grog"

PH: Do you want me to send you some? >:) See what you're ...

PH: ... missing.

ST: n/o t/hanks, n/ot o/ne f/or a/lcohol, t/hanks.

PH: Vomit isn't the natural successor, unless you have a wussy constitution

PH: You know, like a ninja might

PH: >:)

ST: n/o w/e h/ave t/raining f/or t/hat.

ST: i/t's c/alled f/uckishiyoumi o/r s/omething

PH: The Fuckishiyoumi?

PH: That ...

PH: .... sounds like a tra?.

ST: i/t's v/ery p/ainful.

ST: s/ometimes t/rolls p/ass o/ut t/rying t/o t/rain

ST: t/ends t/o b/e p/retty m/essy, a/swell

PH: Ohhhh????? So you have yet to com?lete YOUR Fuckishiyoumi training?

ST: n/ot a/ p/riority

ST: i/t's a/n o/ptional t/hing

PH: Aww! You failed, didn't you?

ST: i/ d/on't e/ven h/ave a/ t/roll s/ensei t/o t/each m/e i/t, l/ol

PH: ...really...

PH: Did you ever have a sensei?

PH: Or did you just decide one day ...

PH: ... to be a rebellious rustblooded rogue ...

PH: ...and call yourself a ninja?

ST: h/e c/ommited s/eppuku. i/t's a/ v/ery s/ensitive s/ubject.

ST: w/ineblood*

PH: Uh oh! A sensitive subject? Would you ?refer me to talk about something else, then?

ST: y/-yes. ]:'(

PH: Se??uku is when you kill yourself because you can't stand all of the trolls fussing at you right? >:( That's such a harsh way to lose your mentor!!!!

PH: Oh, whoo?s. Okay!

PH: >:) Let's talk about your quadrants.

PH: S?ecifically...

PH: ... whether or not you'd shi? yourself with Troll Harry ?otter or not. I need to know! for my latest fic. >:D

ST: e/wwww, o/kay t/hat p/airing w/ould n/ever w/ork

PH: Why not? You're a ninja, he's a wizard! It would be the most ?erfect thing I can imagine (at this ?recise moment in time, anyway).

ST: n/ot o/nly w/ould i/ n/ever a/ssociate w/ith t/hat s/carred s/kinny g/rub, m/agic i/sn't e/ven r/eal a/nd i/ r/efuse t/o h/ave a/nything t/o d/o w/ith t/rolls t/hat c/onsider t/hemselves 'w/wizards'

ST: n/ow, o/n t/he o/ther h/and

PH: So you ...

PH: ... wouldn't even ...

PH: ...laughsassinate one????

ST: w/ouldn't a/cknowledge.

ST: u/nless i/ h/ad a/ r/ite o/f c/ulling f/or h/im

ST: t/hen i/ w/ould j/ust g/o c/ull h/im

ST: i/dc b/ut h/ere's a/ s/uggestion

ST: h/ow a/bout y/ou p/air m/e w/ithhhh...

ST: t/roll a/ngelina j/olie.

ST: o/r,o/r, t/roll c/amera d/iaz.

ST: o/r m/aybe t/hat g/uy...w/hat's h/is n/ame...

PH: Hee, Hee, Hee. Crazy Troll Angelina Jolie or Sane Hel? the Little Wrigglers So They Can Grow U? to Be Culled Troll Angelina Jolie???

ST: d/erp.

ST: t/he v/ersion o/f h/er i/n t/hat o/ne f/ilm a/bout r/aiding t/ombs

PH: Oohhh, so you'd LIKE to be ?aired with the action adventure Troll Angelina Jolie. The ... ?irate-y one! The LAND ?irate-y one. >:P The ?ale quadrant I think!!

ST: s/he's a/ n/inja t/hief.

PH: Or maybe the Ashen, then Troll Cameron Diaz can come along for the ride.

ST: p/ale q/uadrant??? a/ww

ST: w/ould r/ather c/alingious o/r c/rimson b/ut w/hatever f/loats y/our f/anfic s/hip o/r w/hatever

PH: Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. ?st.

PH: By hel?ing me ...

PH: ... Do you know what you just did????

ST: w/ut

PH: You hel?ed kee? the fanfic shi? afloat.

PH: Under my ca?tainhood.

ST: y/eah.

PH: So, I guess...

PH: ... that would make you ...

PH: ... at least tem?orarily ...

ST: i/'m t/he b/oatmaker a/t t/he d/ocks.

ST: m/aking s/ure y/our b/oat i/s i/n w/orking o/rder b/efore s/ending y/ou o/ff.

PH: ... a ninja traitor! You hel?ed the fanfic shi? sail to glory!

ST: p/shhh

ST: t/otally l/eft a/ f/ew h/oles i/n t/he h/ull

ST: t/iny o/nes y/ou'll n/ever n/otice

PH: Deeeevious. >:P

PH: I like it!

ST: a/ l/ittle

PH: And I'm off to do some writing. >:P So looong! Kee? up the good being all alone and quiet work!

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