-- facetiousAnimus
[FA]
began pestering plotHooked
[PH]
at 12:59 --
FA: > HELLO there. >;D -->
PH: hi
FA: > how GOES it? -->
PH: >:|
FA: > PROBLEM, ARETHUSA? -->
PH: Yes, sort of. I think. ?erha?s. But ... it's infuriatingly silly, even for a joke. Let me start again, okay?
PH: Ahem!!!!!!!!!
PH: Why heyyyyyyy there, Ezreki! >;) What are YOU u? to?
FA: > SITTING on a PARTICULARLY STUPID LIZARD LUSUS. YOU? -->
PH: Awwww, what did he do now? Did he bring out the FIERY hoo?s of Armageddon's Destruction?
PH: Did he try to eat your foot?
FA: > no NO. -->
FA: > it was my ARM, actually. -->
PH: Hee, Hee! Remember when he hid your recu?eracoon in the cave with the gigantic blood-draining fangwings?
FA: > YES. -->
FA: > that was FUN -->
FA: > lots of KILLING. -->
FA: > not so FUN was discovering the one HIDING inside -->
FA: > when I got it BACK to the HIVE. -->
FA: > that was in FACT rather ANNOYING. -->
PH: GAS?!
PH: Was ...
PH: ... THAT ...
PH: ... what that unearthly shriek was????
PH: That sort of ...
PH: ... high, undulating ... girly wailing?
FA: > no. -->
PH: I remember hearing it and being quite concerned!
FA: > that was WHEN I REMOVED it from the RECUPERACOON -->
FA: > and it LATCHED onto the BROWNBLOOD waiting to AMBUSH me. -->
FA: > he seemed QUITE UPSET. -->
PH: Oh, really? Did he survive?
FA: > yes. -->
FA: > then I found HIM. >;D -->
FA: > after THAT -->
FA: > not so MUCH with the LIVING -->
FA: > I BEAT him to DEATH with his own SEVERED LEG -->
FA: > remember? -->
FA: > I SHOWED you it AFTERWARDS -->
PH: Awww, Ezzy! Do you know what I'm doing? Right now????
FA: > what IS it that you are DOING, ARETHUSA? -->
PH: I am -- except, of course, when I ty?e this -- clas?ing my hands together, head canted to the side JUST so, and while the cool air thieves in to steal a ?age of music from my har?sichord, I am fighting des?erately against being overwhelmed by Vapours From The ?ast. >;)
PH: ... Wait.
PH: >:\ You weren't chewing on it, were you?
PH: ?icking your teeth with the bone?
PH: Because I seem to remember being disgusted by that.
FA: > what? the LEG? -->
FA: > don't be SILLY -->
FA: > I don't EAT people. -->
PH: Reeeeeeeallllly?
FA: > yes, REALLY. -->
PH: Do lowblood culls count as ?eo?le? This isn't ...
PH: ... a TRICK, is it?
PH: A clever ruse????
FA: > yes they COUNT. -->
FA: > you KNOW I IGNORE the PATHETIC HEMOSPECTRUM. -->
FA: > every KILL is a KILL. -->
FA: > can't DISCOUNT the POSSIBILITY that a LOWBLOOD will PROVIDE good PLOT. -->
PH: Hey, Ezzy??
FA: > yes, ARETHUSA? -->
PH: ...
PH: Do you remember when your lusus chose you???
FA: > VAGUELY -->
FA: > do YOU? -->
PH: Were you ha??y? Or were you just annoyed because he made you jum? through a hoo? of bitingmushgrubs to get your dia?erstub changed?
PH: And yes, I remember.
PH: A little.
FA: > the JUMPING came LATER. -->
PH: Awwwwwwwww, see! Your lizard is nice. I like him. >:)
FA: > HE is -->
FA: > a DOUCHE. -->
FA: > >;C -->
PH: Hmm. Did I ever tell you the FIRST thing
PH: the VERY first thing -- in fact, ?robably right BEFORE the first thing --
PH: Croc?o? did? After he chose me???
FA: > you did NOT -->
PH: That is because it is VERY traumatic.
FA: > I SEE. -->
PH: The kind of backstory, you understand, that should be s?ooled out, mystery ?iece by mystery ?iece
PH: Until it is actually relevant to the ?lot, I su??ose.
PH: But screw that!!!!!!!?!?! I'm annoyed. >:(
PH: He smiled -- beckoned me close --
FA: > oh DEAR. -->
PH: ... He was much smaller then, but still, much larger than I.
PH: -- his scales caught the dim luminescence of the caverns and transformed it into shadows; the shadows looked very much like stories against his scales, like boats and ghosts and horn-crowned trolls, like fake fantasy bullshit.
PH: And then, hugging me CLOSE in his freakish claws, he shook his head when I ?ointed toward the cavern's dark maw...
PH: ... and ate another wiggler!
PH: While crying!
PH: The wiggler AND Croc?o?, actually.
PH: They were both just ?OURING tears.
PH: And blood.
PH: Well, the wiggler was ?ouring blood.
PH: It was kind of ?retty, actually.
PH: I liked it! A lot. Because it started to be hilarious. Exce?t for the ?art where I couldn't wriggle away myself.
PH: That ?art ...
PH: ... That ?art was not hilarious.
FA: > oh DEAR. -->
PH: >:( I hate my lusus. I hate today. It's BORING hate. BORING, BORING, BORING. And why do ?eo?le kee? trying to act all SNOWY at me?????? WHY????????
PH: Ugh.
PH: ARjrhgl?.
PH: Let's talk about the bats again. >:|
PH: Er, sorry, I know that term is hemos?ectrum caste s?ecific.
PH: The fangwings.
FA: > oh DEAR -->
FA: > not SNOWY -->
FA: > how TEDIOUS -->
FA: > what ABOUT the BATS? -->
FA: > did we not TALK about the BATS to the END of POSSIBLE DISCUSSION? -->
PH: Aww, Ezreki! That question wasn't rhetorical, but I will take your treatment of it as rhetorical as su?reme and refreshing disinterest in the subject, and I think it will actually cheer me u? almost as much as actually going out and orchestrating some e?ic ?iece of swee?ing and ?oetic justice -- or subjugation.
PH: ... Or ...
PH: ... allllllmost ....
PH: ... as much ...
PH: ... as hearing about one of YOUR daring esca?ades.
PH: And no, we did not TALK about the BATS to the end of ?ossible discussion. You do know the survivors bred, don't you?
PH: That they're in the cave on the South ?eak? The one with the ice that, if you touch it, gets under your nails?
PH: And devours your skin from the inside out?
PH: Where the Snowy Winged Musclebeast was re?utedly s?otted by that nature-s?ying troll, the one with the cunning binoculars?
FA: > I thought he got EATEN 2 DAYS later. -->
PH: He did, but that does not make what he s?ied with his cunning eyes in life any less es?ied. Or did you mean the Snowy Winged Musclebeast? >:P
FA: > the TROLL. -->
FA: > I SUPPOSE we could GALLANTLY STRIDE -->
FA: > over there and BEAT it UP -->
FA: > and STAND TRIUMPHANT at the PEAK -->
PH: ... Wow.
PH: >;) I'm imagining the music that would surely be ?laying in the background.
PH: Very rousing, this music! Blood-stirring, heart-drumming!
FA: > it is EXCELLENT, is it NOT? -->
PH: Oh, indeed. But all of your songs must be, mustn't they? >:P
FA: > QUITE, QUITE. -->
PH: Do you have time for sim?le shenanigans like that? I ...
PH: ... I mean ...
PH: ... I, ?ersonally ...
PH: ... as you know ...
PH: ... need to kee? in ?ractice. You, however ... Wouldn't it be too easy for you? Dull?
FA: > NO ADVENTURE with my DEAREST ARETHUSA is DULL! -->
PH: Yes, well. But ... I mean, I haven't FORGOTTEN, you know, about ... >;)
FA: > about...? -->
FA: > presumably you haven't FORGOTTEN about LOTS of THINGS -->
FA: > be SPECIFIC. -->
PH: Eeeeezreki. Don't you believe that, within this context, there might be an obvious thing that I am s?ecifically referencing that has not been forgotten?
PH: That, rather than being ...
PH: .. swe?t beneath the hearthshadows and bonefragments of bygone hours ...
PH: ... glows, radiant, a constellation hung in the sky for all to navigate by?
FA: > do you REFER to the AH -->
FA: > somewhat AWKWARD ACCIDENT -->
FA: > that ONE TIME -->
PH: >:O You mean...?
FA: > WELL -->
FA: > you KNOW -->
FA: > with the UH -->
FA: > WELL -->
FA: > I mean -->
PH: Oh! Nooooo! Nononononono!
PH: Ezreki!!!!
PH: I'm blushing!!!!
FA: > well I MEAN -->
FA: > it was SOMEWHAT of NOTE -->
FA: > even if it WAS a bit EMBARRASSING -->
PH: Gaggghhhhhh??/?hhh??????//HH????????
FA: > >;O -->
FA: > it's ALRIGHT -->
PH: No. I ... No, that is not ... what I mean by a thing not ... forgotten and glowingradiantandconstellationy.
FA: > you KNOW I WON'T tell. >;D -->
PH: Gugh.
FA: > heheh -->
FA: > then WHAT, ARETHUSA -->
FA: > WHAT is IT that you REFER to -->
PH: >:| Yes, I do know that. If I ever sto??ed knowing that, you would be very, very, very, VERY a?ologetic. Argh.
PH: What I refer to ..
PH: ... is ...
PH: ... of coooooooooourse ....
PH: ... as ANY reader would no doubt already be com?letely onboard with and like wow this is so totally obvious what the fuck Ezreki
PH: >:|
FA: > well MAYBE -->
FA: > if they KNOW so WELL -->
FA: > we should just DROP it. -->
FA: > and you can GO back to being a MOPEY SEASLUG, HMM? -->
PH: ... your quest. For your kismesis! Weren't you ?re?aring for that?
FA: > that's HARDLY an ISSUE -->
PH: Argh. I am not being a mo?ey seaslug! >:(
FA: > the plans are SET -->
FA: > in FACT the NEXT STEP is to GO to where the HARVESTER LIES. -->
FA: > and then I am ALL but READY to FIND the one I SEEK. -->
PH: Well...
PH: ... When?
FA: > SOON. -->
FA: > in FACT. -->
FA: > when the SUN sets TOMMOROW. -->
FA: > >;D -->
FA: > if you MUST know. -->
FA: > you are WELCOME to JOIN me. -->
PH: You see, Ezzy. My ?oint was that I don't wish to distract you from im?ortant central ?LOT adventuring for cheer-u? adventuring on the South ?eak.
FA: > well since I shall FINISH this ADVENTURE QUICKLY -->
FA: > we can EMBARK on CHEER-UP ADVENTURES swiftly AFTER! -->
PH: Reeeealllllly?
FA: > yes INDEED! -->
PH: >:) Yay!
PH: Where does the Harvester lie? Will a shi? be involved? Do you have a ma???????
FA: > in the VERY MOUNTAINS we LIVE in. -->
FA: > very CLOSE -->
FA: > right UNDER our NOSES, you MIGHT SAY. -->
FA: > do you RECALL the PECULIAR little CAVE we FOUND a good 3 SWEEPS ago? -->
FA: > there was NOTHING of NOTE but a STRANGE SCRAWL on the WALLS? -->
FA: > apparently THAT was some MAGICAL BULLSHIT DOOR -->
PH: The one where all the grass was bleached, sere and unwholesome? And it had an unhallowed feel to it? Or the one with the rainbows dancing outside? >:P
PH: Wait, wait, waitwaitwait, WAIT.
FA: > I am WAITING -->
PH: Wait. >:o How do you know? Did you go back alone and meddle with it????
FA: > also the FIRST one. -->
FA: > NO NO -->
FA: > it was in a BOOK -->
FA: > I FOUND it ONLINE you KNOW -->
PH: Ezreki!
PH: ... You tell good stories. Go on! >;) I am com?letely enra?tured by this "online book" ?lothook.
FA: > it is called -->
FA: > HAH -->
FA: > rather UNFORTUNATELY -->
FA: > "SCARY BADTROLLS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM" -->
FA: > it was rather HELPFUL though. -->
PH: Hee, Hee! Oh, I don't know. It has a certain ring to it!
FA: > one of the FEW SUFFICIENTLY DETAILED in the INS and OUTS of the ANTAGONIST'S ANTICS. -->
FA: > from there I DEDUCED the LOCATION and MEANING. -->
FA: > SIMPLE SLEUTHING for a PROTAGONIST, REALLY. >;D -->
PH: Why, Ezreki! That is ...
PH: ... actually ...
PH: ... by which I mean truly, serendipitously ...
PH: ... rather amazing.
FA: > AHAH -->
FA: > glad you THINK so. -->
PH: Awe-ins?iring, really! >;)
PH: Oh, I do. How could I think otherwise? >;)
PH: But ... How long have you known?
FA: > not LONG -->
FA: > long ENOUGH to PREPARE for the JOURNEY though. -->
FA: > LOTS of SHARP THINGS. >;D -->
PH: Curvy ones?????
FA: > INDEED. -->
FA: > I packed some for YOU too, of COURSE. -->
FA: > that nice PURPLE HOOK we FOUND that one TIME, remember? -->
FA: > the one that you HAHA -->
FA: > with the EYESOCKET -->
FA: > and the PUPPET SHOW -->
FA: > oh that was FUN. -->
PH: Awwww, you ke?t it? >:) That was sweet of you!
PH: Not as awesome as The Ca?tain, naturally, but it certainly sliced well.
PH: And had great ... drag, you know? It didn't ... sli? and slide, the way they sometimes do.
FA: > yes INDEED -->
FA: > very SATISFYING -->
PH: Actually, do you still have that scar? That little one? >:)
FA: > it FADED. -->
PH: Or did your Su?er ?rotaganisty Self-Healing ?owers com?letely irradicate it?
PH: Awwwww!
PH: Laaaaaaame. Develo?ed characters should have scars, Ezreki!
FA: > well to be FAIR -->
PH: Es?ecially mysterious ?rotaganisty ones.
FA: > you shouldn't be LOOKING there ANYWAY. -->
FA: > it would be UNSEEMLY. -->
FA: > >;C -->
PH: Hee, Hee. I cannot hel? it if you are not as ...
PH: ... discreet ...
PH: ... as you could be.
FA: > given the CIRCUMSTANCES I had LITTLE choice. -->
PH: I could give you a much, much better scar, Ezzy.
PH: It would be extremely manly.
FA: > I think I am ALRIGHT as far as SCARS go. -->
PH: Are you certain? ?erha?s a reader ?oll?
FA: > the VOTES are IN -->
FA: > scars are a NO GO. -->
FA: > SORRY. -->
FA: > >;( -->
PH: Hold on a moment, Ezzy.
FA: > I am HOLDING ON. -->
PH: Are you still holding on, Ezreki?
FA: > I AM -->
FA: > I think I BROKE the DESK though -->
PH: HAHHH! I have ?olled the reading ?o?ulace, and the ?o?ulace has said: SCARS FOR ?ROTAGANISTS.
FA: > that's a LIE -->
FA: > you don't have that POWER -->
FA: > >;C -->
PH: Ezreki. I have ?enkind.
FA: > well I have PROTAGONISTKIND -->
FA: > which WINS for READER POLLS. >;C -->
PH: >:( But the crowd has s?oken! Do you just not want to let ME do it?
FA: > ARETHUSA -->
FA: > I will MURDER anyone who TRIES to SCAR me. -->
FA: > >;C -->
FA: > just PUTTING that OUT there. -->
PH: >:\
FA: > >;\ -->
PH: What about a reallllllly little, but also extremely dangerous and rakish, one?
PH: If it was received during an a??ro?riately exciting moment?
FA: > then that would be PLOT RELEVANT. -->
FA: > however I do not FORESEE such an EVENT. -->
FA: > not INVOLVING you, ANYWAY. -->
FA: > >;I -->
PH: Hee, Hee! Of course not. S?oilers!
FA: > QUITE. -->
PH: And, hmf. I don't know, EZREKI, with an attitude like that, quite frankly, I think it might become slightly more ?lot relevant slightly sooner than you'd think. >:P
PH: Sigh!
FA: > >;C -->
PH: Hee, Hee! Sto? making that face!
FA: > not if you keep being SILLY about SCARS. -->
FA: > and it IS SILLY. -->
PH: How is it silly?
FA: > I'll have you KNOW. -->
FA: > I don't NEED SCARS -->
FA: > to be MANLY -->
FA: > I FILL that QUOTA quite NICELY ALREADY. -->
FA: > THANK you VERY much. -->
PH: Ezreki, you're being very selfish about this, you know. ?erha?s I only dream of making my mark on the ?rotaganist, so to s?eak. Hee. ?erha?s I had a vision of Manliness That Could Be, something -- more gallant than actually is, as difficult as I know that is to com?rehend.
PH: I mean, I ...
PH: ... Honestly ...
PH: ... May not quite fathom it myself.
PH: I do wish you wouldn't react so ... Well. Squeamishly!
PH: But!!!!!!!!!
PH: It is fine.
PH: I still enjoy you without scars. >:)
PH: ?erha?s you'll manage to revolutionize the hero industry. ?erha?s.
FA: > we shall SEE. -->
PH: Aren't you ...
PH: ... Excited?
FA: > I AM -->
FA: > however I grow WEARY -->
FA: > having SAT UPON a LIZARD all DAY -->
PH: Awwww. Yes, that does sound VERY wearying. You should ?robably crawl into your recu?eracoon and snuggle down for a night of innocent slumber.PH: I'm certain I would be quite exhausted if I did that much sitting. >;)
PH: But then, I am not you.
FA: > in a MANLY fashion, YES. -->
PH: >:\
FA: > WHAT -->
PH: Hey, uhm, Ezreki? I am sorry for mo?ing at you.
PH: It was not on ?ur?ose.
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