Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Never smile at a crocodile

PH: ?lease, sto? b?ei?ng so n?os?y!?!!?!!?!

FA: > you are NOT being EATEN. I feel I have been DECEIVED. -->

FA: > EXPLAIN YOURSELF. -->

PH: >:) There are two ?ossible explanations...

PH: ... ONLY two ...

PH: ... all others are mere ?retense and LIES, shadows of TRUTH ...

PH: dece?tions, if you will

PH: Do you think you can, if I ask you to, execute a com?licated ... What am I saying?

PH: To you, it will be sim?licity itself!! >:P

FA: > speak PLAINLY for the good of the NARRATIVE. -->

PH: ?lease direct your gaze ONLY to one ?articular ?art of the room without ?ee?ing at anything else

FA: > but I already have SEEN the rest with my ALL SEEING EYES -->

PH: It will be a delicate maneuver, Ezreki, because there are many tem?ting things on my walls to ?ee? at

FA: > there would be no REASONING to IT. -->

PH: You ?romised you would ?retend you had NOT

FA: > I PROMISED nothing. -->

FA: > HOWEVER -->

FA: > for this ONE TIME -->

FA: > I shall INDULGE your WISHES -->

FA: > simply for the NARRATIVE benifits. -->

PH: >:( ?romises are such wonderful ?lot ?oints

PH: They really help build character! >:D

PH: Or...

PH: ... in YOUR case ...

FA: > CONFIRM character. >;D -->

PH: Hee Hee! Exactly! >:)

PH: I am ...

PH: ... allllllllllmost ...

PH: BLINDED

PH: by how it shines >:)

PH: ?lease look at the hinged dro?-opening door which is right ...

PH: ... There.

FA: > I am LOOKING. -->

FA: > there is FURNITURE there. -->

FA: > why is there FURNITURE there. -->

PH: and looking VERY gallantly debonaire as you do it >:)

PH: as I said, there are only TWO ?ossible ex?lanations

PH: one is...

PH: ... of course ...

PH: ... that in the time it took you, at your s?eediest and most im?ressive

PH: ... to reach my hive ...

PH: I barricaded myself in this room >:| and my LUSUS is BELOW

PH: ... or ...

PH: I ...

PH: ... honestly, I am a little wide-eyed at the thought of this stunning revelation ...

PH: ... oooooooor ...

PH: .....

PH: ...........

PH: ...............

PH: That is actually the only logical ex?lanation! >: o !!?!?!

FA: > this -->

FA: > was ANTICLIMATIC. -->

FA: > I am DISAPPOINTED. -->

PH: I a?ologize for not being sufficiently mangled

FA: > I mean the LACK of SECOND OPTION -->

PH: I su??ose I could have been slower ?>:(

FA: > it would be WORSE to have DISCOVERED you DEAD at the SCENE -->

FA: > for this is not a CRIME SOLVING STORY -->

FA: > but one of ADVENTURE and DRAMATIC POSING -->

FA: > also SWOONING -->

FA: > but not by ME. -->

PH: >: o Oh no!!!!!!

PH: I was looking forward to seeing with what ...

PH: ... EXCELLENCE... !

PH: what ... unmitigated ... STYLE

PH: YOU enacted a swoon!

PH: >:P

PH: one of these days

FA: > I do not THINK I am CAPABLE. -->

PH: EZ?RE?KI? L?U?C?E?R?I?!?!?!?!?!

PH: GAS?

PH: If you are not ca?able of swooning

PH: This o?ens all sorts of uncomfortable doors, don't you think?

PH: A ?ro?er ?rotaganist needs to be multifaceted

PH: ... And accom?lished!

PH: I cannot believe you could be inca?able of anything

FA: > HMM -->

FA: > I shall REPHRASE -->

FA: > whilst I am CAPABLE -->

FA: > in the most BRILLIANT of FASHIONS -->

FA: > I choose NOT TO -->

FA: > for a FAINT PROTAGONIST is NO PROTAGONIST AT ALL. -->

PH: >:) That is why I was looking forward to it

PH: Not backwards

FA: > well now that that is RESOLVED -->

FA: > what shall we DO? -->

FA: > is your LUSUS in NEED of calming via STRIFE? -->

PH: I ... would greatly a??reciate ...

PH: ... a retrieval of my huskto?

FA: > CERTAINLY. -->

FA: > >;D -->

FA: > shall I REMOVE the FURNISHINGS from their CURRENT LOCATION? -->

PH: NO!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!!?!!??//??????????!?!NOO???!

PH: Um

PH: I mean to say

FA: > >;I -->

PH: No, that will be all right, thank you

FA: > I THINK -->

FA: > as PROTAGONIST -->

FA: > this is a GLARING MYSTERY -->

FA: > that must be -->

FA: > RESOLVED -->

PH: >:P There are other ways down a level!

FA: > what is it you are DOING up THERE? >;O -->

PH: I am preparing to stand back and learn from your exam?le

PH: >;)

FA: > I SEE. good IDEA. -->

PH: ............................

FA: > uhh. WHOOPS? -->

PH: >:| I ...

PH: Would be very ...

PH: Wroth

PH: Wrathful!!!

PH: IF!

PH: I did not also know

PH: that you are a GENTLEMAN >:P

PH: more than ca?able of reclaiming the huskto?

FA: > I was NOT expecting this PLOT TWIST. -->

PH: and cleaning this all u?

PH: before dawn

FA: > oh DEAR. -->

FA: > oh DEAR oh DEAR. -->

PH: WITHOUT

PH: looking

PH: at anything

PH: HE IS NOT SU??OSED

PH: to look at

FA: > well OK -->

PH: ?er agreement to fulfill my wishes ?>:P

FA: > where am I GOING after I go THROUGH the DOOR? -->

FA: > for the -->

FA: > NARRATIVE'S SAKE -->

FA: > not MINE. -->

FA: > oh, is that a FANFIC down THERE? -->

FA: > I should put it OUT of the WAY for you. -->

PH: >: O

FA: > WHAT ARE YOU DOING ARETHUSA -->

FA: > I was STANDING RIGHT THERE -->

PH: Was I not su??osed to do that?

FA: > and you TACKLED ME! -->

FA: > NO! -->

PH: Did I jum? the narrative gun? >:P

FA: > YES! -->

FA: > this will not do. -->

FA: > I do not find this acceptable. -->

FA: > this cannot be the case at all. -->

PH: Should I do it again? >:( But better?

FA: > no no no. -->

FA: > this -->

FA: > no. -->

FA: > absolutely not. -->

FA: > would you please allow me to return to mobility? -->

FA: > I am currently disabled in this respect. -->

PH: >:P Disabled???????????????? By what, ?ray tell?

FA: > your current state of being sat upon me. -->

PH: I ...

PH: ... am amazed. >: o

FA: > one wouldn't wish to harm you by forcing you off, you see. -->

FA: > that would be rather unlike the uhm. -->

FA: > protagonist. -->

PH: Hee Hee

PH: Of course >:P

PH: There, I think you are just rakishly dishevelled enough

FA: > YES -->

FA: > indeed. -->

PH: To survive...

FA: > THANK YOU> -->

PH: ... an ENCOUNTER

FA: > it is MUCH APPRECIATED -->

PH: Myyyyy ?leasure >:P

FA: > it is HARD to CONTINUE to be PROTAGONISTIC from the FLOOR. -->

FA: > now WHERE was I? -->

PH: About to be dashing, and a little bit ...

PH: ... boyishly foolhardy

FA: > HAHA. -->

FA: > ONWARDS -->

FA: > and DOWNWARDS -->

FA: > then. -->

PH: GAS?. Y?A?Y?!

PH: >:P It cannot be!

FA: > it IS! -->

FA: > I believe THIS belongs to YOU, fair MAIDEN. >;D -->

PH: >:D

PH: .... Wait

PH: >:\

FA: > WHAT. -->

PH: >:/ Unfortunate ?lot twist

FA: > ...CONTINUE. -->

PH: Hmm. I believe...

PH: You ... neglected ...

PH: ... to also rescue the smelling salts! >;)

PH: Swoon!

FA: > OH. -->

FA: > well have THIS -->

FA: > and I'll go buy you more SALTS later. -->

FA: > that CROCODILE is a DOUCHE. -->

FA: > also I'm SLEEPING on your FLOOR because I am not going to BURN TO DEATH trying to go HOME. -->

FA: > this whole this has been RIDICULOUS and ANTICLIMACTIC. -->

FA: *thing

PH: >:) I would never let you sleep on my floor.

FA: > you'd rather your PROTAGONIST BURNED? -->

FA: > that seems a bit CARELESS of YOU. -->

PH: Almost, I believe you are sli??ing, Ezreki!

PH: >:)

PH: For two reasons

PH: And this time, there are ...

PH: ... actually ...

PH: two!

FA: > CONTINUE. -->

PH: 1) The floor? ?erhaps for less heroic trolls. As ?erce?tive as YOU are, you are no doubt well aware that Iiiiiiii...

PH: have a s?are recu?eracoon you are more than welcome to snuggle dee? into

PH: and take a well deserved rest >:P

FA: > OH. -->

PH: 2) A ?rotaganist as brilliant as you...

PH: Have ?ROVEN yourself to be! ! ? ! ?! ?!!

PH: ... would ?robably rather have the challenge of racing Daybreak to get back to his hive.

PH: He would ?robably not wish to s?end time in the purple blood's luxurious s?are recu?eracoon

PH: But she ...

PH: I mean me

PH: ... will try to insist

PH: >;)

FA: > well if the LADY insists -->

FA: > I SUPPOSE the PROTAGONIST must OBLIGE -->

FA: > if ONLY for -->

FA: > the NARRATIVE. -->

PH: Of course


-- facetiousAnimus
 [FA]
 ceased pestering plotHooked
 [PH]
 at 6:11 --

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