PH: Lamia! Did you know that once u?on a very long time ago (aaaaaaas the fanciful fantastical phantasmagorically delightful stories for little wrigglers like to begin, although NO, this is NO tale for wrigglers, no tale for wrigglers AT ALL) ...
PH: ... I mean, SWEE?S ago, before there was the current Her Imperious Condesce ...
AE: {Arethusa! Oh, how exciting! Please imagine me straightening my spine and beaming at the prospect of being told one of your STORIES, for that is precisely what I am doing!}
PH: No, no, no! Listen!! This is not fiction. At least, it will be embroidered u?on very soon, until it as elaborate and full of riddles and twists and mysterious doings as one could dream if one were very, veeeery full of daring! This is fact! This is mostly fact, Lamia, or mostly (1) fact.
PH: (1) A word which in this ?articular case means at least 79% truth!
PH: >;)
PH: Because the Agent Reds?ade, reember, remember, who was totally the best of all the Devastagents, ALL of them, actually did honest to every broodfester bloodterror utterance made by the Sibilant Seeress, ALSO totally stayed for SEVEN NIGHTS in the Cave of Calamity and Courage with, guessguessguess, guess which historical ?ersonage a number of exquisitely ?? excell??ently ?lotted dramedies have been created????
PH: AND TH??EEEN??? GUE?SSSS! HOW!!!??!?!?! I found out!!! >:D
PH: S?oiler: The answer is not a book!
AE: {I -- Arethusa, I am quite overcome by your exquisite use of footnotes! The accuracy! The precision! The CLARITY! Please excuse me, I need a moment to recover.}
PH: >:)
AE: {Agent Redspade, you say -- seven nights! Such stamina! Hmm. Could the historical personage in question be... Fangmind?}
PH: ?lease! No?e. Definitely NOT Fangmind.
AE: {Could it be... Clawslice?}
PH: Hee, Hee! Warmer!
AE: {Oh, Arethusa! You don't -- you could not POSSIBLY mean --}
AE: {Not the THRESH PRINCE HIMSELF?}
PH: The THRESHIEST of ?rinces inDEED, Lamia! The very Threshiest!!!!!!!!??!!?!?!!!!!
AE: { The Thresh Prince and Redspade? This is unprecedented! Why -- their matesprits were each other's Kismesises! The shock! The Scandal of it!}
PH: Oh, Lamia! I quite like it when one has a little square shi? going on. They usually smoulder into a brief, but intense, conflageration!! If I could use my ?en to rewrite history?
PH: There would be NONE
PH: ABSOLUTELY none
PH: of this Reds?ade X Eviscerator DarkBlood ?o??ycock.
PH: Sadly...
PH: ...my ?en is not quite that magic.
AE: {Oh, well do I understand such urges, Arethusa. But pens are for the WRITING of history -- not the re-writing! That would be a shameful abuse of Exegenetical impartiality.}
PH: Oh, realllllly? And what ?ortions of history have you stumbled across that you'd like to rewrite, Lamia? What tem?ts you toward ?erfidy and the betrayal of your chosen ?rofession?
AE: {I do not doubt but that your exploits will one day fill innumerable pages with brilliant indigo ink, placing you in the ranks of the Rainbow Desecatrix!}
AE: {Oh.}
AE: {Er.}
AE: {Nothing. I have no such temptations. ^>.>^}
AE: {I merely understand them in a strictly academic sense.}
PH: Hmm.
PH: I find, for some uncanny reason, that I don't believe you. >:(
AE: {Well... I suppose... It is not that I am tempted to reWRITE history, you see.}
AE: {It is that... I wish to read BETWEEN the lines of what is already WRITTEN.}
AE: {So many of our records are incomplete.}
AE: {And in those interstices between authoritative documents, I confess I sometimes allow my mind to wander over possibilities unsupported by strict textual evidence.}
PH: With your ... strange, nay! Even ... eldritch, perhaps ... eerie mutant ?ower?
PH: Or just with your imagination???
AE: {A combination of both, I suppose. Honestly, I am not entirely certain where the power ends and where imagination begins.}
PH: Uh oh.
PH: That sounds...
PH: ...cracked.
AE: {Arethusa? Do you think my mutant power is ... Unseemly?}
PH: Footnote Unseemly, and I shall tell you! >:)
AE: {Oh, let me clarify the record.}
AE: {Arethusa? Do you think my mutant power is ... Unseemly(1)?}
AE: {(1)A word which here means unsuited to the pursuit of a respectable role in Alternian society.}
PH: Hmm.
PH: ...footnote res?ectable!
AE: {Although reflecting upon it, I suppose what I wish to know is whether my mutant power is a thing you are friends with me in spite of.}
AE: {If it ... Disturbs or disgusts you.}
AE: {I would footnote "respectable" except that I have recently learned that footnoting the contents of footnotes impedes rather than increases clarity. >> : / }
PH: Hee. Who did you learn THAT from? Because it is totally untrue! The more footnotes in the footnotes the more interesting they are!
PH: And ... why, Lamia ...
PH: ... I'm utterly sur?rised! Isn't the answer to THAT kind of question ...
PH: ... just the sort of thing your ?ower is good for? >:P
AE: {Are you saying you WANT me to use my power on you?}
PH: >:O
PH: Are you saying you've never tried?
AE: {Why are you evading my questions by asking more questions?}
PH: >:\ I'm not evading your questions. I'm merely leading you further into ...
PH: ... the QUESTION FOREST. >:D
AE: {I already live in a forest! Although a Question Forest admittedly sounds intriguing and enigmatic and rather more interesting than a normal forest.}
PH: Hooooooonestly, Lamia. Haven't you ever heard of the Socrampageic method?
AE: {Arethusa.}
AE: {I have, indeed, heard of the Socrampageic method.}
AE: {And I am certain that if you will take a moment to consider what Socrampage was known for, you will understand my reluctance to pursue you any further into the Question Forest.}
AE: {Considering that he lured his would-be students deeper and deeper into the woods of his home before eviscerating them, eating the contents of their thinkpans, and feeding the rest of their bodies to his Owlbearlusus.}
AE: {And while I of course trust that you, Arethusa, would not feed me to your croc.}
AE: {You must surely understand that pursuing you into this particular Question Forest is likely to result in a metaphorical demise of one form or another.}
PH: >:\ I don't usually feed trolls I s?end much time talking to to my croc. Honestly, I try to encourage him to feast on things that are NOT the flesh of trolls.
PH: 'Lest he get a taste for it!!!
PH: ...........
PH: More of a taste for it.
AE: {I find I have become slightly despondent(1). To the point where I am not even inclined to change my Trollian Mood Marker for accuracy.}
AE: {(1)A word which here means sad.}
AE: {I think I shall try to finish the edits on your latest chapter and send them back to you in the morning. Good night, Arethusa.}
PH: >:\ Laaaaaamia
-- aspirantExegesist [AE] ceased pestering plotHooked [PH] at 11:11 --
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